


Look at me

by enterprisecat



Series: monologues [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Everybody Lives, F/F, Fix-It, Gen, Jyn has feelings, M/M, Mentions of Injuries, Monologue, well at least the most important characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9441251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enterprisecat/pseuds/enterprisecat
Summary: Wake up.Wake up and look at me.Wake up and make me feel at home again.





	

“I thought life taught me patience. I was patient when I was hiding in the rocky hideaway, waiting until Empire forces leave my home planet. I might have been crying, I probably was crying, I cannot remember any longer, but even when I was scared and way too little to be left alone I was patient.I was patient when picking up locks and waiting security guards to leave their posts. I could even wait until I killed.

And yet, now… Now I can only be patient. I can only wait but I cannot.

I would never believe you can be so still, so…You are always focused. Once I saw a dire-cat scenting blood, the intend, so absolut...You seem ready to jump into action even when you are simply sitting but now it’s gone.

I hate that.

I hate that you need to be still, that you need to be kept in this dreamless sleep, that your spine needs that  more now than it needs bacta.

You know the worst part? They no one knows if you ever walk again. First we have to wait until bones are healed, then, when you are finally awake, medics will take care of the nerve endings.

I hate that as well.

On bright side I was declared fully recovered and discharged from medical. 

They kind of forgot that there’s nowhere I could go. I confuse them, I think. We all confuse them. We are the rebels among rebels after all.

Chirrut… He still sleeps in bacta. Medics don’t tell me much but somehow I doubt they would use their precious supply if there was no chance of survival. 

Baze woke up today. Just for a couple of minutes, at least that’s what Bodhi told me, I wasn’t there. I was… well I was here.

With you.

Baze didn’t ask about Chirrut. Their connection… I’m not sure about Force,I don’t know how it works but when I look at them I know there’s something, some unspeakable power that can join people.

Bodhi says it’s love. He might be right but there’s something else as well. It’s not bigger than love, it’s just different.

Burnings on Bodhi’s hands are healing nicely. He will be a pilot still, I think. If they will let him of course, but he seems to gain trust easily. Even though he is wearing his Imperial robes again. He’s already tinkering with those huge goggles covering half of his face. 

It’s nice, you know. To know at least one of us feels already at home.

I don’t…

Mon Mothma came one day, one I was still a patient, at least officially. She thanked me in the name of the rebellion and funnily enough I felt she’ sincere. Awfully truthful, for a politician at least. General Draven spared me the doubtful pleasure of official speech but he checked on you a couple of times. I think he cares about you, in some weird and accustomed to thought of death way. 

At first I thought you are simply his little soldier. Ready to do anything at all, no matter what the order is, as long as it is in the name of the sacred rebellion. 

Then you welcomed me home.

You came back to me when you should be dead.

You climbed when you shouldn’t be able to walk.

You all followed me, having no proof, having only me, half-broken and stubborn. I gave you only me belief and you believed in me in return.

It almost get you killed. It got killed people whose names I’m still learning.

You followed me and they followed you. 

Together we fought for hope and with hope. 

Plans are out there somewhere, in the galaxy. I know that. I broke into one of the computer stations, there are no information that they had been intercepted by Empire. By the way you should have better protection, your security protocols are one of the weakest I’ve ever seen. Though it might come in handy when we try to break out again and go find those goddamn plans. 

We’ll do it as soon as you will be able to walk. Or we might find a new body for K-2SO first. Thought we should find something less distinctive. He will bitch about that, I’m sure of that, but we will need him. Maybe we will wait for burning on Bodhi’s hands to heal completely. And for your bruises to disappear completely. Otherwise we would look suspicious. More suspicious than normally.

There is a search party looking for the plans as I speak but who can find them if not us? If not Rogue One?

Cassian…

Wake up.

Wake up and look at me.

Wake up and make me feel at home again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write fluff. As always I failed miserably. And, as always, written in a moment of pure insanity, no beta, English is not my native language.


End file.
